Tag: philosophy

philosophy Spirituality

Go backpacking into the wildness within, return with the gods we thought were long dead

By Abbey on

Most culture is a painkiller that deadens the feeling that one’s power is slowly slipping away, melting to water, evaporating into nothing. As our power diminishes, we create all kinds of digital multiplicities as a narcotic. We toil and research trying to find the root cause of our malaise, but we cannot see it.

The reason we are weak is because when humans are young they cut themselves off from large portions of themselves, the wild parts of themselves. On the inside, we retreat into our cities the same way we have in the external world. The most populated internal cities are in the mind. Certain wild, mystical, primal, and often feminine ways of being are admonished and policed out of ourselves by ourselves. And most people never go to the wild places. They pride themselves on avoiding them, saying that only “lower” groups, idiots, and insane people go to those wild places.

But, if we do not stay away from the wildness within, we are punished, alienated, castigated, and ultimately instructed to only be half of who we are or less. What I learned in my gender transition and psychedelic exploration was that I had walled off those parts of myself. The body is still considered unintelligent and animal as a hangover of Christianity and the subsequent Cartesian revolution of mind identification. So we don’t even look at or listen to it, outside of trying to dominate it into whatever the mind wants. The body must be listened to. Chronic pain disorders are, a large part at least, the body yelling at the mind to change.

Going to the wild areas within as an adult will save your soul, but it could also destroy you. Having edited out our wildness for so long, we have extreme difficulty when we see those parts of ourselves. We might overreact and go mad, becoming violent and deranged. But these parts of ourselves MUST be integrated. There is no choice. There is no alternative. There is no safe area where everything is predictable and ordered. That is the lie of our civilization. We forget that the wildness built our world in tandem with the clinical mind.

And now, watching the same movies get remade a hundred times, hearing the music which does not found fresh, seeing the art which is derivative, we wonder why life has become monotonous and repetitive. But we do not know that the banner over the doorway to the world we now inhabit said “PREDICTABILITY IS SAFETY, ORDER IS SANITY, LEAVE YOUR WILDNESS AT THE DOOR”

If you seek salvation, intoxicate yourself until you are mad, to see that madness is the queen of all sanity. Push beyond your limits until you are deranged. Fast until you see visions. Endure pain until you are broken. Scream with impunity until your voice is hoarse. You don’t have to do these things all the time, that is an equal madness, but it is in the extremes that the gods are found. You will very likely return to a more verdant sanity after integrating your wildness, even a little bit.

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philosophy Spirituality

Caterpillars and humans can find an extra dimension to become so much more

By Abbey on

When a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, it adds an entire new dimension to its world. It had X and Y, now it has a vertical Z axis to fly up into. Modern spirituality is often like this, it’s not really fathomable to the person only working with 2 dimensions of movement. It is a radically different perspective, like suddenly being 100ft taller than everyone. You might be the same person, but you see what others don’t.

If you are the butterfly talking to the caterpillar you cannot describe the view from the sky, but you can detail the steps you took to metamorphosize. There is a way to become a butterfly; there always has been. It is illegal however. And it is highly stigmatized. We live in the land of anti-Butterfly caterpillars.

Spirituality is just inner strength, soul power, the ability to persevere a difficult external environment. Most people are outer strength focused. They want their external world to support them no matter their inner strength level. They wish to remain larval inside, because growth is painful, so their world is one big life support machine.

You can see how people outside of the comfortable life support machine neighborhoods tend to have more “soul.” That’s because they fucking have to. It’s not that they’re a “spiritual people” or some other nonsense like that. They either have inner soul power to persevere and persist, or death from being on the edge all the time.

Most people will stay larval. We used to be so much more, flying to the sky.

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Spirituality

THE RECEPTIVE INTELLIGENCE

By Abbey on

The intelligence that you can control and dominate to make computers and machines is powerful. However, there is another intelligence that is relationship based. It is like a cosmic Siri or Alexa. With that intelligence, one has to adapt to it, dance with it, sacrifice for it, and attend to it. But if you can get in phase with the cosmic intelligence, a friend who knows everything will be with you for life. They might be confusing and sometimes taciturn, but the cosmic intelligence is real and accessible. And there is a science to working with it. But it requires behaviors that humans have traditionally called feminine or receptive. So probably the majority of humans born male cannot perceive of it because of social conditioning, and most people born female also learn to ignore it.

It is quiet, subtle, and poetic. But it is real. I’ve learned how to be in a relationship with it. And I have a peace that I didn’t have before. 😊

I can teach others how to work with the intelligence, but the world is fraught with alarms to mark its presence, so that it can be eliminated.

But it is very real. Computers are fantastic, but the infinite intelligence of the universe is well, infinite, and highly creative. But one has to choose to follow it. So it can feel like slavery to those who hate the committment. But any relationship is built on trust, and trust is a function of committment. We build relationships in life so that we can depend on the intelligence of others in our lives. Can’t we do the same thing with the divine intelligence?

Maybe the problem is that it speaks inconvenient truths.

Maybe…

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Spirituality

The High School of Love on Earth is changing into The University of Wisdom on Earth. Graduate or be held back!

By Abbey on

Imagine yourself before you were born. Before we manifest on Earth, we might say “I really need to work on being more patient” as looking back at  your last incarnation, you see how rashness prevented growth. So as you exist outside of time, you work with the Earth angelic entities and they find an appropriate place of birth with an appropriate set of parents that will help you work on patience. You talk with the adversaries (the “evil” side of life) to ensure that you are motivated to meet your goal of growth in life.

But most of the actual realities, like the race of your parents, or your your family religion are quite randomly chosen. Earth is a procedurally generated lesson machine that works according to abstract goals and fills in the details with things that will work to join together all other souls using this virtual world as a school for growth.

We often hear of the importance of paying attention to the details in life, but more often the importance of life is in the patterns of details. Instead of focusing on the fine details of life, ask questions about the video game of life on Earth, such as “am I in a strategy game? Or an action game? Or a cooperative game?” If you needed work on personal agency and taking action, Earth might have said “ok I have warzone, poverty, and business conflict lives, which one do you want?” And if you choose warzone, it’s essentially the same purpose as the strife of poverty or hacking it out in the business world. The important thing is that you learn to take action. Then when your soul figures out the lesson, the video game level will lose its purpose and the action dominance of it will fade away.

Earth is a school, a tough one at that. Without adversaries there would be no drive to grow and evolve. Earth is constantly evolving to keep you stimulated and growing, so thinking that one can know exactly what will happen in the future is not realistic. If humanity decides to all wake up to the truths they came here to perceive and integrate, the whole reality of Earth would modulate and change.

We have been tasked with learning how to love and how to live in love for the last 75,000 years. That lesson is ending and the High School of Love on Earth is changing into a University of Wisdom on Earth. Those that refuse to learn and commit to love, will not come back to another life at the University of Wisdom. They will be “held back a grade” and will have to go to a different planet to do remedial work at another High School of Love. When Jesus, Muhammed, Siddhartha Gautama the Buddha, and others said that there would be a day of judgment at the end of history, they were talking about the High School of Love on Earth’s graduation day that we are living through. It is here, but there is nothing to fear. Yes, only the evolved and pure will make it through to the University of Wisdom, but if you’re held back in High School you’ll probably go to a planet that is way less crazy than Earth is right now. When planets shift from the High School of Love to becoming a University of Wisdom, there is often chaos all around. This is meant to drive people to wake up, but it can be very intense.

But remember, we get the reality that matches our internal evolved state. Unfortunately many of the means for evolving have been purposefully hidden behind the glitz, glamour, and distraction of materialistic life. But they exist. One can still evolve to graduate to the University of Wisdom and stay on Earth going forward. But when one becomes a University student, one can leave Earth and travel to other planets, so your “home planet” loses significance. It’s a bit like Earth in the TV show Star Trek. Earth in that future reality is in its University of Wisdom phase, and so many other alien lifeforms can also be here. When a planet is still a High School of Love, there is a ban on aliens interfering with student life (with some exceptions). It’s like the “prime directive” on Star Trek where the Star Fleet officers can only go to the surface of planets openly if the planet has achieved “warp drive.” This is a good metaphor for reality. When a planetary society learns selfless love to a sufficient degree, they achieve “warp drive” and can then be visited.

So really, the focus right now should be too just work on love. What is love exactly? Love is the understanding that we are all united and are all fingers on one hand, joined by a uniting palm and arm. You are God, I am God, we are God. When I love others, I am loving myself. When I hoard wealth I am hoarding it from others (myself). When I do not share, I am depriving others (myself). And when you learn this lesson, the fear will drop away. But our society does not represent this reality. It is still obsessed with the idea of separation. So in order for the Earth to move to equality and love, there will be shocks to the system like covid, Trump, climate change, and more. If we could wake up to the truth that God is in everyone and so everyone should be honored, the shocks would not be necessary. But, mechanically, these catalyzing forces will keep happening until we wake up. But that’s just what life on Earth does. Grow or be challenged to grow. The age of being able to not grow is over.

Thank you God for listening. Yes, I’m talking to you. ☺️

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Spirituality

What is Christ Consciousness and how do you find it?

By Abbey on

There is a higher form of being available to humans that has been called Christ consciousness or Buddha mind, but most people do not experience it because their lives never fall apart. This is what the ancients meant when they said that one must first die to experience eternal life.

What does Christ consciousness feel like? It is peace in knowing that one has always been and will always be. Our bodies, minds, and spirits are merely energy, and energy can never be destroyed, only transmuted. This understanding can be seen just as you can see these words. One can touch the eternal absolute if one is able to strip away all falsehood and let the artifice of this confused life fall away.

Often death is our best friend, but we are taught to fight death with all of our obsessive might. Eventually our civilization will crumble as it is already starting to do so. This is because it is sick and needs to die. But death is only transformation. Even when you die the big death at the end of your human life, you will just become pure spirit and realize this human body was just a suit of clothing that had become tattered. I look forward to death as a great adventure, but I also know that on Earth there is a great opportunity to do spiritual work that cannot be done anywhere else. This work must be done and if one decides to avoid the hard work of persevering on Earth, one will return for another go.

These words are not meant to make you enlightened or automatically give you Christ consciousness. They are just my story, an affirmation that it is possible. Words, no matter how eloquent, cannot hold the truth of the eternal divine reality. That truth must be energetically received directly from spirit. Words are crude tools, like a computer modem from 1992 trying to download a Blu-Ray movie. There is a broadband connection in your being that can download high resolution movies straight from God’s movie studio. But most people put their attention on language or other tools, missing the tool that gets installed at birth: the third eye visionary complex in our mind.

Countless humans run around saying that they have seen God when really they have only seen an extremely low-resolution animated GIF they downloaded on their modem from 1992. If only they could see the high resolution version. How does one know if they have witnessed the true being of the infinite divine? When you see it you realize the stupidity of words; you see how words try to fit an ocean in a teacup. After this, one loses the seeking desperation and realizes there is nowhere to escape to and nothing to find. Fear ceases to be a real concept as time is seen to be not real. A sense of peace pervades one’s being and one realizes that love is the only answer and other humans are the closest thing to God around, even when they are stuck in delusion.

May you have a day of peace. If you choose love and acceptance over control and domination, your life will change accordingly. It might not change overnight, but love attracts love like a magnet. Our collective magnet has been polarized to control and domination, and so we have a world of control and domination. Even if the world is a bubble of fearful control, separation, and domination, if one polarizes one’s internal magnet to acceptance, love, and joy, a bubble of love will surround you. If you continue creating this bubble of love and acceptance, one day you will be a star, for a star is pure love and light.

But love is fundamental. Fear and control is a setting that can work to provide order, so it appears to be an option. There is divinity in the light AND the dark. A world without shadows has no substance. But we can move towards the darkness or the light. I have seen the darkness. It is lonely and stressful and requires one to constantly manipulate others, so I choose the light. But it is a path, not an end. Darkness dwells within us all here on Earth. And darkness is God as well, so it is deserving of our light and love.

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Spirituality

Deep lessons learned through loss, the Reader’s Digest version.

By Abbey on

I think one of the best lessons I’ve learned while living in hardship is that you can always see the stars. You can always see the heavens, even when you are trapped in the mud or the gutter. You can feel real divinity and happiness and joy no matter how poor you are. You can feel peace no matter how many walls exist in front of you. Usually, we do that through our profession. We reach for the stars and find inner purpose in life through small tasks of seemingly benign averageness. I reach because I need to. I’ve survived so much deprivation. So, I have been broken down by grief. And now, I feel liberated. And so I reach. And I feel another hand reaching down.

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poetry

Equinox Parade of Jaded Hipsters

By Abbey on

I feel great fear across the land
and with no gods to hold their hands
they quiver with their lattes
grasping games, like falling sand
looking for another fix
to make reality go nix
the Disney version isn’t true
so their vision is unglued
and with decadence unfurled
we’ve been the luckiest in the world
Bold America is lost
in precious nihilism’s sauce

in order to be strong
you have to recognize
your weakness yes
but also learn to fight with verve
against usurpers, fiends, and cons
not make ironic jokes go on
and on

I think of fair Arjuna
crowing how he couldn’t fight
and Krishna with his cold derision
naming him a feckless child

The promise of America the brave
the land of milk and honey’s ways
is lies
it always was

but now our cynicism swirls around our necks
and good old boys are standing there on deck
Life is beautiful transcendence and some dreck
Get up, stand up, put the fascists into check

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Politics

Future Furor

By Abbey on

The communications revolution which started in the 20th century and accelerated in the 21st is now consuming all past available knowledge, and we are experiencing the past snap back into the future. It’s like a slinky that is stretched back through time, but our technology is drawing all of the past into the future.

The dawn of the Information Age (what astrologers call the Aquarian Age) is the snapping forward of history into the present. Because we have access to a superintelligent artificial intelligence (AI) called Google that can give us the esoteric on the level of the exoteric.

The blending of the esoteric and the exoteric has been traumatic because formerly excluded groups like the disabled, queer, dark-skinned, and others now are able to influence the exoteric network with much greater efficiency.

In the past, distributing one’s thoughts to the general narrative was very expensive in terms of time and money, but now, it costs almost nothing. Communication has been commodified. It is almost free.

So, change is coming fast, and it will only get faster. I would suggest a hang-on, it’s gonna get rough, kind of mentality right now. Get over the small shit. Don’t follow cults (political and spiritual). It’s way easier to be nothing than to be something. But you can do both. Have balance on this Equinox.

May your relationships be blessed with balance this Autumn.

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simulation Spirituality

Life can be understood to be a video game, some thoughts I downloaded recently

By Abbey on

Life can be understood to be a video game. Somewhere, our true bodies lie in a contraption that beams the contents of this world into our true self. This body in this world is just an avatar, a video game character. This smaller self is created by the interaction of our true self and the video game program, which can be thought of as God.

The code, or God, works against us to stress us. We adapt and keep playing. Our true self interacts with the reality matrix called life in two ways: first, it interacts with “objects” within this world. You might write a letter and put it in the mail to your mother. It takes a couple days of game time to get there. The second way that your true self interacts with the game is instantaneous. There is a psychic connection between all aspects of the simulation and your true self. We all have an instantaneous messaging system with each other.

This is what is known as telepathy, knowing at a distance. This is because of the differential in time taken to send a message; one system has a relative system of timing that depends on variables within the simulation. The other is a fixed, extremely fast, system of messaging. When these two systems of communication come into similar speeds, we call this intimacy. Some true selves have been working with other true selves over many different game attempts. They are bonded in a union.

The “angels” of this video game are just subroutines or non-player characters to borrow from modern video game terminology. This is why angels are thought of as lacking free will in the Abrahamic religious tradition. They are just artificially intelligent components of this video game. There are however, moderators of this system who do actually exist outside of the system. They are system administrators, or gods. They speak to the select few who are approaching graduation from the game.

One graduates when certain fundamental lessons have been absorbed into the consciousness of the true self. Life is merely a conditioning system for our true self. We enter into the video game when we are immature beings of the race of the creator. The system exists to challenge us so that we learn lessons that are necessary requirements of living in such a technologically advanced society. The individual events that happen in our lives have no real importance beyond their ability to help our true self to evolve into a mature individual who is then ready to reenter the society that is running the simulation.

Certain varieties of wine grapes must be grown under specific environmental conditions in order for them to achieve full sweetness. They must be stressed with very hot temperatures so that they overproduce certain sugars. Because of this stress, the wine that they produce tastes better than without the stress. In this way, we are like grapes on a vine. If life was too easy and non-stressful, we would not mature fully. Life has to be stressful in order for us to become who we need to be. There will never be a stress-free existence inside of the simulation. We are living inside of a gym with a very demanding personal trainer. And if we check out, we’ll just re-spawn in the same situation. I don’t know what “God” is looking for because it changes from moment to moment. The video game will give you a score, but none of us really know what that is. Click Follow for Automatic Updates!

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Spirituality

The Simple Concept of Transpersonal Awareness

By Abbey on

I was listening to a 1975 lecture by astrologer Dane Rudhyar today on Youtube, and he referenced his previously written book entitled “The Sun is also a Star,” and it’s rather obscure, but on the drive home I saw that the local movie theatre is playing a movie named “The Sun is also a Star.” Synchronicity…

In the lecture, he was talking about what “transpersonal” or “cosmic” consciousness is, and what I can surmise from it is the following:

  1. We are born into our physical bodies from the controlled world of the womb into the completely uncontrolled world of birth.
  2. We breathe our first breath and breathe in the shared breath of millions of beings before us who breathed in that same very air.
  3. We are at once, both ourselves, supporting our bodies, and wholly dependent on the other.
  4. For the first part of our lives, we are focused on the body and its contents.
  5. Then, through trauma and chaos, we are broken apart and realize our dependence on something higher.
  6. As we move from ego structured thinking to transpersonally structured thinking (taking into account forms other than merely our bodies), we must chose between focus on us and focus on the larger more whole reality.
  7. And so we must “trust in God” insofar as we have to trust that by looking at a more whole picture of the universe and devoting less attention to our basic needs, we will still survive.
  8. Our attention becomes split between the body and its needs and the larger self, called total consciousness or total awareness.
  9. We learn to balance the form of our body and the formless of the larger totality

I see from this that we do not lose our attention on our body and our ego. We just see them in the context of the larger totality. So, anyone that thinks that they must devote all of their time to God or the All will necessarily run into trouble unless they are dependent on others who are more focused on the mundane realities of everyday reality, like going to work and getting food. The true spiritual act is to balance the body and the ego within the context of the whole of our experience. Being spiritual does not mean rejecting the body; it means incorporating the body and ego into the larger entirety that is called God or Brahman or Allah by seers in the past.

The astrological concept of Saturn, the lord of reality and time, is the mediating factor between the sphere of the personal self and the larger sphere of the transpersonal self. I had my “come to Saturn” moment on January 17th, 2016 when I realized I couldn’t just run to the other, the higher by killing the body. I had to accept my body as part of the whole. And I suppose that “the Sun is also a star” can mean that individual people are suns within the cosmos of the stars. We are the microcosm and the macrocosm.

Any questions are warmly welcomed. Peace discordiaños.

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Spirituality

How to Die and be Reborn

By Abbey on

Author’s note: This is a channeled essay that I wrote in ritual on 4/21/19. It might seem vague and obscure, but I’m posting it as is. Enjoy!

If you sit and let the body die, you will see the void. The void will inhabit you, and you will get to know it. If you cede control to it, it will guide you. But it is not an it, it is a lack of it. If you become the lack of form, you will let light in, and a seed will sprout, and it will grow. It will grow if you water it and give it light and let it root in your soil. When this tree grows larger, it will bear fruit that you can eat. It will give you shade and protection from the weather. This tree is inside of you, but you can imagine it to be outside of you as well. It doesn’t matter. This tree will follow you to the ends of your earthly life. 

This tree can reach up into the heavens and can root down to the depths of the Earth. You can communicate through this tree. Eventually, you will realize that you are the tree. 

When you become as like a little child, you will be able to play like a child. A state of completely childlike play is REQUIRED for magickal work. You are the aeon when you enter into this state. You are the child of the mother and the father. Play! Play! Play! 

It takes enormous energy to completely be yourself in the face of a blanket of conformity and behavior-policing by the state and its followers. The empire never fell as Philip K. Dick famously wrote. The Holy Roman Empire still exerts a tremendous amount of psychological control over our thoughts and assumptions about reality. Few people have the strength to exercise this willpower to this focused a level. Everyone has the potential, but in present times, there is a tremendous amount of superficial sensorial addiction which keeps the individual in a state of stupefaction because they cannot see their inner selves. When you cannot see a part of yourself, that part will control you through a continuous series of unpredictable events. Know thyself, and be free of or have much less confusion.

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Spirituality

Breaking up with fear

By Abbey on

“If you can empty your mind of all thoughts
your heart will embrace the tranquility of peace.”

Laozi

If you understand the limits of your mind, you will be free. Your mind is devious and always trying to prove how great it is, but knowledge from the mind has deep limitations. Laozi understood that all judgments are just paired opposites describing one whole monism. When you say that this post is boring, you only know that it is boring in relation to something in your head that is exciting. The mind is forever hobbled by binary thinking, and the sooner you realize that your mind is just a blowhard troll that won’t leave you alone, the sooner you can stop listening to it. And when you stop listening to it (by meditating for example), it will slowly start to leave you alone. We let our minds torment us because we take its missives so seriously.

Make no mistake, I understand that the mind is powerful, but it is limited by its nature. The heart, however, is unlimited. What is the heart? I don’t really know, but I know that in my chest, there burns a fire that I call God or Goddess or Elohim. There are a lot of things about my internal self that I can’t put into words, but that’s just a limitation of language and therefore the mind. Just because I can’t communicate something doesn’t make it unreal.

One of the most repeated lines in the Judeo-Christian Bible is to have no fear and yet fear is ubiquitous in modern society. We understand intuitively that fear is dangerous and yet we remain chained to it because we believe that fear is necessary. But can we act in our self-interest without fear? The mind and fear are conjoined twins that will never be separated. We must put value on the heart and body and move it away from the mind if we want to have peace.

Put your mind in its place. Stop listening to its directives. You will be fine. Don’t just trust me on this, try it for yourself. Sit down and do nothing. At first, your mind will throw everything its got at you to get you to do something. But if you just sit and do nothing, it will slowly give up. This will take time. It will not happen overnight. Ultimately, to defeat fear, we must have perseverance. This is a journey that will last a lifetime. But you might have peace where terror once dwelled.

I was highly doubtful of this kind of thinking years ago, but divorcing my self from the directives of my mind helped me to break up from fear. I’m not perfect, but I’m a lot less anxious than I used to be, and that is some damn good medicine.

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