What happened to me that might be relevant to now.


Hey druggies. In 2015, fall to be exact, I was knee-deep in DXM, totally riding the dissociative train to wherever-ville, which was actually Gresham, Oregon, the trailer park of Portlandia.

Soooo, I was taking a shit ton of DXM, and I had a voice speak to me in the grandest of tones, saying “god wants to speak to you!” I was flabbergasted to say the least. I was doing the dishes for christ’s sake. I might have been microdosing and macrodosing dissociatives for days, who knows. Anways, they told me this.

“You are the god of Jupiter!”

It was, my Jupiter return, astrologically, so I guess this made sense. I was extremely confused. But I persisted. I listened to Jupiter, and then he gave me this ultra-sage advice:

Hahahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Haaaaahaaaa.

I really didn’t know what to make of it. Here I was with all of my serious problems. I’m transgender. I have fibromyalgia. My kids were taken by my ex-wife and kept from me because I’m “dangerous.” I had deep, deep despair. I felt like I was less than trash.

But it kept laughing. Hahaha.

I could see the big bastard laughing at me. Ol’ Zeus. You know that Jupiter means “sky father,” and Zeus, Jupiter, and Dyaus Pater (the Indian Zeus) are all the same thing and basically mean “Sky Daddy?”

He kept laughing. It was getting to be annoying.

Why are you laughing at my problems?! That’s not helping!!


Then it hit me. It might have hit me months later, but I’m truncating here for brevity. Laughter is the key. Jupiter is so big that he is larger than everything. Why worry about the worries of the ants? Now I just laugh. I realized that laughing like a crazy person at the insanity of life is actually prohibited. Can you believe it?! You are not allowed to cackle unrestrainedly at the absurdity of life without being put in a facility!

Father sky says laugh.

2 comments on “What happened to me that might be relevant to now.”

  1. on acid i had the realization that the power that had been talking to me and heavily directing me was itself saturn. [tho i am a sagittarius sun, jupiter hasn’t announced himself to me like saturn did.] it showed me that i pour a great amount of my energy into art-making, and do it for many hours at a time.


  2. Lots of my DXM insights turned out to be nonsensical, though it took months for me to realise that. But amongst the nonsense there’s the odd gem. Laughing at life’s absurdities may well be one such gem.


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